This is the post the old me couldn’t imagine until I sat with tight, nervous hands not yet adept at forming fluent words, making cursive loops onto notebook paper as I wrote the first paragraph of my memoir. Not knowing at the time how or where or when I would finish. And now, as in tomorrow, you (book), will be on your way to the first set of eyes that have never met or heard of you.
And before you go I need to have a few parting words with you. It’s cliche, but oh so true. Writing a book is much like birthing a baby. I feel proud, while at the same time protective, wanting people to be careful with you; knowing that your binding is strong, but how easily your edges tear. Ultimately, I hope they respect and honor you because it took a lot to get you out!
Good luck swimming out there in this beautiful, scary, delicious world of ours!
I’ve dressed you up and stripped you bare where it was appropriate. I’ve left you vulnerable to critic by your rawness of philosophy and truth. I think (hope) (pray) that many people will benefit from your lessons of love and courage.
I’ve thanked you and the universe every morning as I opened my laptop and thanked you both again as I closed it for the day. But now at this extraordinary juncture, as I breathe one long, highly emotional breath, I must thank you one more time for you’ve taught me so much. Though you’ve scared the hell out of me at times. Given me goose-bump worthy chills. You’ve let tears escape; the ones I thought I had hidden in a secret place so nothing or no one could ever find them. And oh my goodness, can we please have a moment for the uncontainable joy and enlightenment you’ve allowed me! You’ve empowered me and through that empowerment I’ve discovered the only boundaries that exist are the ones I’d placed within myself.
After spending over three years with you in the most intimate places – the shower, upon waking or trying to fall asleep, in dreams, while walking, watching a movie, listening to music, or just daydreaming; and of course in stillness as I sat in my office…you found me. Always. And in the finding I discovered in the most random, beautiful ways – YOU always knew what you wanted to be. It was I who needed to discover you. To internally and externally realize you into being. And together what a transformation we have made. Because together is the only way worthwhile things get done in this world, after all. Thank you for never allowing me, not once, to feel alone. You stealthily gathered all my muses; let them live in my head and my heart, then transported them to the soul of my body of work, onto paper. So Thank You.
You’re ready. I’m ready. And just like when I started writing – I don’t know where. or when. or how. I just know wherever we land is where we are meant to be.